Secure Attachments In Adult Relationships

Young Happy Couple Cuddling

Secure attachment is a crucial component in healthy adult relationships characterized by trust, empathy, and mutual respect. In contrast, insecure attachment styles can lead to many negative consequences in relationships. Despite being rooted in early childhood experiences and trauma from past relationships, these styles are responsive to change with the right tools and effort. An experienced couples counselor like Dr. Taji Huang can help with that.

Trust & Self-Esteem Helps Relationships

People usually develop a secure attachment style as a result of a childhood where they felt comforted and protected by their caregiver but also free to explore relationships and their environment. This experience lets you, as an adult, have an easier time developing close emotional bonds and the ability to soothe your own emotions. It helps you have a healthy and fulfilling relationship by giving you the tools to feel comfortable with emotional intimacy.

  • A Stable & Positive View Of Your Partner
  • An Innate Sense Of Self-Esteem
  • Ability To Handle Conflicts In A Healthy & Constructive Way
  • Less Jealousy
  • An Easier Time Committing To & Being Vulnerable Around Your Partner
  • A Deep & Lasting Sense Of Trust

Insecure Attachment Makes It Difficult To Relate

People with insecure attachment styles have difficulty relating to others due to a deep sense of insecurity, difficulty communicating, and difficulty understanding others’ emotions and their own. This difficulty relating to others can make someone unable to handle conflicts well, and can also manifest in several different ways.

  • Jealousy, Possessiveness & Lack Of Trust
  • Idealizing Or Devaluing Your Partner
  • Fear Of Abandonment, Judgment, Or Engulfment
  • Constant Need For Reassurance
  • Emotional Instability & Unpredictability
  • Discomfort Regarding Vulnerability & Commitment
  • An Exaggerated Need For Control
  • Inability To Self-Soothe & Manage Stress

Give Yourself The Tools For A Secure Relationship

It’s possible to develop a secure attachment style through various techniques. By working through each other’s insecurities together with your partner, you can foster a secure and trusting relationship. It does take time, dedication, and an open mind, but you and your partner can overcome any obstacles to your happiness and create the secure and fulfilling partnership you both dream of.

  • Practice mindfulness and self-compassion.
  • Learn to express your feelings and needs in healthy ways rather than via denial, passive-aggression, stonewalling, or hurtful language.
  • Use compassion, empathy, and gentle language when communicating with your partner.
  • Keep an open mind when listening to each other’s concerns.
  • Cultivate trust by being honest, nonjudgmental, and consistent.
  • Mutually set and respect each other’s boundaries.
  • Seek professional help when needed.

A Therapist Can Help You On The Path

Couples counseling is an effective way to address the issues that arise from unresolved attachment issues. A good counselor or marriage therapist can provide you with the tools and strategies necessary to create and maintain strong connections characterized by trust, compassion, and security. With the right tools, you can work together to create a secure attachment and ensure that your relationship is healthy, supportive, and lasting.

Couples Counseling Is The First Step

Couples counseling may be the answer if you and your partner are struggling with insecurity, communication issues, or distrust in your relationship. Contact Dr. Taji Huang’s Glendale, California office today to schedule your first appointment. She is a licensed clinical psychologist who helps partners understand and overcome the challenges of insecure attachment so that they can establish healthier ways of relating to one another.

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