There’s never a “wrong” time to make a resolution to improve your marriage, but many people feel inspired to do so at the beginning of the year. If you want to make improving your marriage your New Year’s resolution, Dr. Taji Huang offers couples counseling in Glendale, CA.
New Year’s Resolutions For Couples
- Learn Your Partner’s Love Language
- Intentionally Be More Thoughtful
- Make Time For Intimacy
- Learn New Things About Each Other
- Practice Mindfulness & Appreciation
- Schedule Time To Discuss Finances
- Consider Couples’ Therapy
Learn Each Others’ Love Languages
Sometimes, couples who love each other very much encounter relationship issues because each partner has a different “language” of how they prefer to give and receive love. For instance, some people prefer verbal affirmation of their partner’s love for them, whereas others feel more loved when their partner is physically affectionate or spends quality time with them.
Avoid Couple Fights With Better Communication
If each partner only sticks to their own preferred love language, then one or both of you might feel neglected or unloved if your preferences differ. This doesn’t mean you don’t love each other; it just means that better communication is needed.
By learning each other’s love languages, you can be more attuned and thoughtful towards each other, which will deepen your relationship and allow both of you to feel more loved.
Practice Being Intentionally Thoughtful
Despite what romantic movies would have us believe, true love takes work, and it’s not always going to be effortless. There will be days when you’re both tired and annoyed with one another, but continuing to do the little things that make each other happy intentionally will strengthen your marriage and make both of you happier in the long run.
This goes hand in hand with becoming attuned to each other’s love languages—you can both practice intentionally expressing love in the way the other person prefers, even if it’s not what you’re used to.
Make Time For Intimacy
After the honeymoon stage has ended, and you’re both juggling careers, chores, and childcare, it can be hard to maintain physical and emotional intimacy in your marriage. Many couples find it beneficial to schedule time in their calendars for romantic dinners, fun outings with each other, and physical intimacy.
The key is to prioritize your relationship and set aside time that’s just for the two of you.
Learn About One Another
Even if you’ve been married for years or decades, you and your spouse can still discover new things about each other in order to keep the relationship fun and exciting. People change over time, and this can actually be good for your marriage because it means that you’ll never run out of opportunities to learn about and grow with your spouse.
Practice Mindfulness & Appreciation
In a long-term relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in everything from major disagreements to minor habits that you find annoying about each other. When you’re constantly fixating on the negative, it can make you feel like you should never have gotten married in the first place or like your relationship is doomed.
However, you and your spouse surely have positive qualities that brought you together. By focusing on each other’s positive attributes, you can recreate the happier stages of your relationship.
Remember Why You Fell In Love
By consciously cultivating a heart of appreciation and reminding yourselves of why you fell in love with one another, you can bring the loving feelings and marital peace back. Try making a list of happy memories and things you appreciate about each other—you can look back at this regularly to feel more connected.
Or, during a moment when you feel peaceful and happy around each other, take a couple of minutes to tune into your emotions and senses in order to fully enjoy each other’s presence and the time you’re spending together.
Schedule Time To Talk About Money
Financial disputes are one of the leading causes of divorce, and the only way to prevent or settle these disagreements is to talk about them openly and honestly. If it’s hard for both of you to spontaneously sit down and talk about finances, you may want to consider setting aside time to have these conversations on a weekly, biweekly, or monthly basis.
Remember to stay respectful and avoid using accusatory or passive-aggressive language—the goal is for both of you to tackle the problem as a team rather than attack each other.
Consider Couples’ Counseling
Many couples avoid going to therapy for as long as possible because they feel like it should only be a last resort to prevent a divorce or because they feel like their relationship is no longer salvageable. However, marriage counseling isn’t just for relationships that are crumbling, and it can help relatively happy couples develop an even stronger bond with one another.
Moreover, even if your conflicts feel unresolvable, working with an unbiased third party might actually help save your marriage.
Experienced Relationship Therapist In Glendale
Whether you want to resolve conflicts and resentment to keep your marriage alive, or you’re just trying to get out of a relationship rut, Dr. Taji Huang can assist. She is a licensed psychologist and counselor with extensive experience helping couples communicate more effectively, see from each other’s perspectives, and feel more connected with each other.
Contact her office today to schedule a session.